The Shadow King and the Devil
by Darkness34
Summary: He's not Superman, but he wants to be. He's not perfect, yet he needs to be. He doesn't love me, but I want him to. He's drowning in the pressure, I'll rescue him
1. Don't Let Me Fall

"_False face must hide what the false heart doth know." ~William Shakespeare_

**F** is for the faces he hides behind. The smiles (_disgusting_), the aura of perfection (_lies_), the life he can't believe he's living. (_Why then_)

**It's all a lie (**_**nothing but lies**_**)**

**A **is for the assumption that he's perfect. That he never breaks down (_he yearns to_), that he always has answers to everything (_he doesn't_), that he's always the very image of God – Perfection to the core. (_He isn't_)

**It's all false (**_**just like everything else**_**)**

**C **is for the challenge of living – living like everything's going great (_It's not_), like nothing bothers him (_It does_), like he can take anything and everything the world throws at him. (_HE CAN'T_)

**He's not Superman (**_**But he wants to be**_**)**

**E **is for the expectations he's set for himself – the standard of power and accomplishment that haunts him. Haunts him through the praise he receives for doing a remarkable job (_he didn't_), for being successful (_he can't be_), for showing that the third son shouldn't be underestimated and ignored. (_He is though_)

**It should be enough (**_**but it never is**_**) **

**S **is for the small hand snaking into his own, for the nimble fingers giving his a reassuring squeeze. (_It's okay_) Kyouya finds himself squeezing Kaoru's hand back (_It will be_), surprising himself, but not the young twin - one glance in his Kōhai's direction confirms a sort of pleased expression. (_Just breathe_) The Shadow King smiles and the little devil smiles back. (_I'll support you_) It doesn't matter if at times he suffocates from the pressure, because as long as the king of shadows has his devil – with his smiles of sunshine – breathing won't be a problem.

**I was drowning (**_**but he saved me**_**)**

_**F*I*S*H F*I*S*H**_

Wow, this is officially (in my opinion) the best story I've written so far. This is my first attempt at an OHSHC fanfic, so I apologize if they seem OOC. I'd like to thank the always amazing Jazyrha and Magician April Aries for inspiring me to write this. If you guys read this, I want to tell you thanks and that I love you. :3 Feed back would be appreciated – my poor plots bunnies are starving from lack of reviews. Please review, for the bunnies – a review could save a life, just click the button below.

~Darkness34 *an increase in light, gives an increase in darkness*


	2. The Lies I Live In

Everything about his life was fake: his friends, his family, his smile, his face. His entire being **WAS A LIE**!

He'd give anything for a chance to just be himself, not the cool, collected – _disgustingly_ _perfect_ person he'd made others believe he was.

For once he wanted to break down, get angry, feel something – ANYTHING! He didn't want to live up to his father's expectations, because **he couldn't do it**!

He was: _weak, pathetic, a failure, broken, a lie, a tool._

Kyouya laughed bitterly to himself, for he knew this, just as he knew everything else (_lies_). Most days he ran on auto pilot – the one thing he truly, honest to God, trusted his body to remember for him.

To remember to…

Eat

Walk

Listen

Talk

Breathe…

Breathe? What was the purpose anymore? He didn't live for himself that was for certain, so for what, for who? He knew – as much as he wished he didn't – he knew who he lived for.

He lived for the boy with hair the color of sunsets. Eyes so big and bright and _**pure **_they seemed to glisten with a never-ending field of golden and bronze stars. A smile filled to the brim with warmth and sunshine.

For the boy whose laugh flowed like silk and sounded like bells, but these traits were lies (_just like everything else_), a cover up. For this boy was just as cracked and lost as Kyouya himself was.

As he thought this he couldn't bring himself to care – it didn't matter if they were lies or truth, reality or fake – because as long as he had Kaoru to lean on everything would be fine, and he knew that.

Just like how only the broken can understand the broken, only the hidden understand those who hide.

He was going to be with the little Hitachiin forever – even if he had to silence both their voices and cut their lives short – he'd find a way to stay, to chain that boy to his side.

He'd never be alone again, never again feel pain or sorrow – he'd make sure of it.

* * *

><p>Step, step….breathe.<p>

Just keep moving. Don't panic. Don't-don't-breathe, don't think, just breathe.

Keep smiling, keep moving, keep pretending (_pretending you can't feel the weight of the knife in your pocket_). Always – always pretend. Stay hidden, believe the endless lies you've written.

Lies that state your _happy, independent, strong, invincible, perfect, that if you do this one thing (kill him) that these false tidings will become true._

Stop. Observe – keep searching, keep looking.

In

Out

In

O-out

Breathe. Don't stop; remember to keep going.

You've been trapped – caged like some common beast. Not for much longer though, tonight it ends. Tonight the walls to your cage will crumble and you'll be free. Tonight the ground will be watered with blood and you'll finally be _**happy**_.

* * *

><p>You find him alone (<em>no one to scream to<em>) in the more secluded part of the Ouran gardens (_no interruptions_) and you move to finish this – to throw the chains over his body and lose the key to the very thing binding him to you. He struggles but they're weak, half-hearted. Like some part of him wants it, but another keeps screaming at him to _fight – to resist_.

You're almost there. You can escape. Leave. Finally-finally be free.

Your world had long since been bleached of color, sound, and light. Lost in the bleak, darkness the world created for you.

When that divine angel came, light had begun to crack through the surface of his hiding place. Bringing forward _laughter and happiness_ – those feelings can't end, he wouldn't allow it.

Color and sound will accompany the light you'd felt him place into your sanctuary. You'll be able to see, hear…breathe. You'll be able to feel again (_not pain, never pain, no more pain_).

It hurts, but it proves that you're alive - that you're remembering to breathe.

The escape is getting closer and as you get closer colors begin seeping in, coloring the wasteland that'd become your place of refuge.

Beautiful colors: blue, green, yell-

Black - Once again that's all you can see, hear, feel.

You'd succeeded; he was waiting for you by the entrance to your freedom, but he was _gone_…

Gone and lingering for you (_no doubt by now wondering where you are_) and you find that you can't end yourself – that your scared.

No, no, no, NO!

It wasn't supposed to be like this – it was supposed to be easy. As easy as it had been to end him, the one you loved and cherished.

Why? Why hesitate? Your life doesn't matter, so why wait?

This is what you wanted, isn't it! You're going to be with him for the rest of eternity! SO DO IT!

NO MORE HESITATION!

You close your eyes and just…breathe.

In

Out

In

Out

In

…

….

…

Out

It wasn't until this moment that you realized that you'd finally _DONE_ it.

And you….panic, you change your mind – you **REGRET**.

You've just erased yourself – yourself and _him – _from the pages of the living.

You've just hurt people. Made them…

Depressed

Murderous

Hurt

Confused

Shocked

Broken

Scarred

Unable to breathe…

NO, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? How could you do this, what had you been thinking?

The escape you pictured had been fake – another lie to add to the ever growing collection humanity kept.

The escape you pictured is lost – knocked from your mind with a terrible, terrifying moment of realization that reality choose _**NOW **_to present to you.

Once again, you've failed – _just like in everything else – _made the wrong choices, completely fell beneath everyone's expectations.

For the first time in your life you'd miscalculated and you find that you don't like it.

It makes you feel…

Disgusted

Sick

Weak

Vulnerable

Exposed

It doesn't matter now, when everything's too late – too late to take anything back, fix the fatal mistake you'd just made, _apologize like you so desperately needed to_.

Stop. Don't think. Just concentrate on breathing. Try to remember your last breaths.

I-I-In

….

….

….

…Out

…

In

…

…

…

O-Out

…

…

In

…

….

This is it – you can feel the shadows crushing you, embracing you in the hauntingly cold arms and soothing you with hands that grasped at anything to anchor themselves. Clasped to a body that feels far to familiar; this embrace to was a lie, just another way to taunt him, just another way to throw himself away, another way to disappear.

For this embrace belonged to the deceiver, the devil, the destroyer. He'd shown me what I look like when I am standing on the edge, how I break apart when I finally hit the ground, how it hurts when I pretend I don't feel any pain.

The more you pretended, the faster you fell.

The faster you fell, the more desperate you'd become.

The more desperate you'd become, the more horrid your decisions became.

Now, now you can feel the weight of your choice all around you – from the dark, red liquid seeping into the grass, to the large hunting knife that you had fallen in front of you, to the way you were sprawled across the ground.

It had been an insane choice, but you hadn't wanted to feel like you were nothing, you hadn't wanted to feel like that tomorrow. Kaoru had made him feel better, like he didn't have to live like this. Kaoru had seen the things in himself he'd begun to have trouble hiding.

You'd made so many mistakes, failed so many times, become so negative. You felt that your death would bring the world some peace – another worthless being gone from their _**brilliant **_presences. You see now it'd been the wrong choice, but still even if it was wrong, it still feels so _right_.

Finally content with yourself you give in to the darkness that clouded your vision. You sigh and don't remember to breathe.

* * *

><p>O_O I can't believe all that angst came out of me, wow I must be having a bad day. Anyway, please R&amp;R and keep adding it to your favorites and such. I'd like to throw a thank you out to Azeia-kun for being the first person to favorite this story. I bid you farewell until we met again.<p>

- Darkness34

*An Increase In Light, Gives An Increase In Darkness*


	3. Talking to the Wind Part 1

"All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name." – Andre Breton

It was one of those rare, but oh so enjoyable, moments of tranquility that descended on the highly prestigious Ouran Academy.

Out in the gardens, Kyouya Otori and Kaoru Hitachiin were making the most of the calm. Lying back onto the warm grass, Kaoru gave a content sigh, then a giggle as the breeze tickled his exposed skin. Kyouya sat down next to his 'boyfriend' and unconsciously began running his fingers through the boys auburn locks, as he watched the sky.

An indeterminable amount of time passed before Kaoru's eyes opened, revealing sleepy golden orbs. "Hey sempai, can I ask you a question?", Kyouya turned to gaze at Kaoru and gave a sharp nod. "What do you think clouds taste like?", Kaoru queried. "Considering clouds are a visible mass of liquid droplets or frozen crystals made of water or various chemicals suspended in the atmosphere, I'd assume that they'd taste like pollution and dirt."

The under class-man pouted, "No need to get all sciency on me. I just wanted to know if they would taste like cotton candy." "Tell you what, someday I'll take you to visit the clouds and we can see if the clouds taste like cotton candy.", with a warm smile and a gentle caress of his hand against Kaoru's cheek, Kyouya took one last look at the sky and silently made the promise of 'someday' to the clouds above.

* * *

><p>And there's part one of chapter three, stay toned for part two. I'm sorry for the over use of some words like taste, I just couldn't find a word to replace it with. Oh, and the part about the cotton candy clouds was important so I'd keep that in mind. Deepest apologizes for the long wait, I've been sick and cleaning out my brother's room, so that I can have it (which I'm very excited for). Also for those reading 'If I Die Young', I should have the next chapter up sometime tonight.<p> 


	4. Talking to the Wind Part 2

"Happiness is like a cloud, if you stare at it long enough, it evaporates." – Sarah McLachlan

No one had expected Kaoru to be sick, especially not with a fatal disease. It went against every fiber of his being, Kaoru was bright, energetic, lively, and as some would claim a devil. He wasn't supposed to be weak, vulnerable, or _dying_. Though the fact that the only person who'd ever loved him for _him_, that is besides the bumbling idiot, was dying killed the shadow king inside, it was the fact that Kaoru had been sick with this condition since he was young and _he hadn't bothered to inform Kyouya about it_, that made his blood boil.

It was a well known fact that the Ootori was completely and utterly head-over-heels for the younger male and that they told each other _everything _– even their top secret schemes. The King of Shadows needed his devil, after all they were linked by a kindred (evil, manipulative) spirit - One was not complete without the other.

Kyouya was no stranger to the world of medicine (he'd been studying medicine since his birth) and all its realities. He knew what Kaoru had and he knew that he couldn't be cured – The ailment that plagued his young lover was often referred to as MELAS Syndrome or in other terms mitochondrial encephalomyopathy, lactic acidosis, and stroke-like episodes. Ever since Kaoru had turned the tender age of eight, he'd been having episodes or as his parents described it to him, lightning storms in his head. At first these storms terrified the little boy, but over the years he grew to tolerate them and even if his fear towards them never completely vanished it had lessened considerably.

When he turned sixteen though, things took a turn for the worse. The morning of June 9 at 5:30, the most severe episode that had ever struck Kaoru occurred. The seizure lasted a good 15 minutes and even as his horror struck family loaded him into the family car for a trip to the hospital, he kept twitching* and complaining (though he was slurring so much it was hard to determine what he was really saying) about his vision and how his head _hurt_.

Kyouya about had a heart attack when at 6 in the morning he got a call (an event that usually would have ended in death for the unfortunate caller) from one of his families hospitals saying that 'a certain Kaoru Hitachiin was brought in after a grand mal seizure', and so it was here we began making history, a Kyouya up before noon was a legend unheard of.

So to say that the host club was surprised when a frantic and wild-with-worry Kyouya burst into the waiting room was an understatement; Kyouya was always composed and in charge of the situation, but this time was different. He was distressed, that anyone with half a brain could see, but the thing that turned the hosts' hearts to ice was that he looked _scared_. Anyone who knew the Otori knew that fear of any kind was a matter utterly foreign to his usual 'I-Can-and-Will-Squash-You-Like-A-Bug-If-You-Don't-Do-What-I-Say' demeanor. It truly was a testament of how much Kyouya loved Kaoru, such a passion was more often than not directed towards business and politics, rather than other members of the human race.

It felt like an eternity had passed before the doctors allowed them to see Kaoru, though in reality it had only been a couple hours. Everyone was relieved to finally be rid of the atmosphere in the waiting room which had been tense, not to mention teary as Honey, Hikaru and surprisingly Haruhi hadn't been able to squelch the water works currently flooding the room with its sea of sniffs and choked back sobs.

Walking somewhat calmly down to the room where Kaoru was, the thought struck Kyouya of how much he _HATED _the smell of hospitals now. They smelled like medicine and the orange-scented air freshener used to try to cloak the scent of despair. He knew he was being over dramatic, but he was worrying himself sick over Kaoru and he just needed to mind vent a little. During his little rant, it seems that they had arrived at the entrance to the room their friend was confined to. Everyone stood kind of awkwardly outside the door and it wasn't helping Kyouya's already frazzled nerves, "Well, aren't you going to go in?", Kyouya coldly murmured. Hikaru flinched before replying, "I don't know what he'll look like. If it was anything like before….then I'm not ready to see him again."

Sighing the second year pushed to the front of the group and gently opened the door. One look inside and he instantly regretted the action, in the room lay Kaoru looking smaller than any of them, excluding Hikaru, had ever seen him. He was paler than a sheet and hooked up to a bunch of scary machines, when the sound of the door opening finally registered in his not quite functioning ears, he turned his head with what looked like a lot of effort and smiled at his friends.

"Hey guys, how are you feeling?" Hikaru snorted, "You're in the hospital and you're asking how _we're_ feeling?"

The rest of the visit went a lot like this, comforting banter floating between the rooms residents, before they were forced to leave due to Kaoru getting a sever headache. Weeks passed like this with no good or bad progress, until they reached the end of week four where Kaoru's strength began to return and most of his senses where back up to their normal levels.

It was not to be though; life had a way of doing that to you – lifting you up, saying everything's going to be alright. Just to drop you, abandon you on the cold, hard ground of reality.

As the days progressed Kaoru got a little bit weaker, a little bit paler, a little less _there_– finally after two months after first being admitted to the hospital, the thing that haunted Kyouya's nightmares, Kaoru's death, came to pass.

The couple had be laying on a bed in one of the finest Ootori hospitals, when Kaoru violently started out the light doze he was in (for a moment Kyouya feared he was having a seizure, but that fear passed almost as soon as it came, when Kaoru proved he'd only convulsed once), the Hitachiin heir turned to the window and stared wide-eyed, "Kyouya, look at the light." Kyouya's head jerked up in a panic, "NO! Don't look at the light, don't leave me." "But it's so pretty…." A glance at Kaoru's face confirmed what he needed to do, but it felt like a knife was being twisted in his gut. "Fine, you can go, but wait for me, I want to see if the clouds really do taste like cotton candy."

Kaoru aimed one last smile in Kyouya's direction, when he spoke he sounded breathy as though he was having trouble breathing, "I love you, Kyou." A single tear ran down the Low Blood Pressure Evil Lord's face, "I love you too."

* * *

><p>OH, THIS CHAPTER MADE ME SO SAD! I almost cried, I swear this was physically painful to write and I added so many extra scenes for you guys. I hope for some feedback to help revive my sobbing spirit. I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed or added it to favorites, it does my poor heart good. Also, I'm sorry if this chapter was kinda badly written, I'm still new to dialogue scenes and honestly I don't think I'm very good yet.<p>

I wanted to ask you guys if you thought it would be cool if I made the whole 'Kaoru has MELAS Syndrome' into a separate story or if I should lay this plot to rest.

****NOTE: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT WITH THE WHOLE SICKNESS THING, SO PLEASE IGNORE ANY MISTAKES I MADE OR FEEL FREE TO CORRECT ME****

FEEDBACK IS VERY APPRECIATED AND IT MAKES ME LIFE FULL OF SUNSHINE AND SMILING FLOWERS, SO PLEASE CLICK THE BUTTON BELOW!


	5. The Lies I Live In  Reprise

Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting. - William Arthur Ward

**Kaoru's POV**

The first thing I noticed when I began to wake up was that I didn't hurt anymore and more importantly I was alone. Up until recently loneliness had been a foreign feeling to him, he'd always had Hikaru with him, but now he was the only one left in the crumbling world they'd created to separate 'them' from 'us'. The kingdom had long since been invaded and was now just a piece of land he did not recognize.

Speaking of mysterious, pieces of land – Where were you? How the heck did you get here, where was here, exactly? Try as you might you just couldn't remember, then like being hit by a freight train, you suddenly did.

* * *

><p><em>I was walking through the Ouran gardens; it almost felt surreal with the absence of the usual chatter of students and the singing of birds. Winter was fast approaching, and as though to prove it, an icy wind blew through the trees, making the dead leaves shudder. An eerie feeling was rising in my gut, I immediately quashed it, there was no need to be paranoid, Ouran Academy had one of the best security systems money could buy.<em>

_Behind me I heard a twig snap._

_My heart rate skyrocketed, as I swung around to identify the source of the noise. My eyes immediately zoned in on Kyouya-sempai, the host clubs' resident Shadow King._

"_Oh, sempai it's only you.", my voice took on an irritated tone, "Geez, didn't anyone teach you not to sneak up on people? You about gave me a heart attack." _

_A laugh was born in my chest, raised in my throat and killed on my lips, when I saw the look on Kyouya's face._

_His usually ivory complexion was splattered with blotchy red splashes, as though he'd been fighting with a paintbrush and lost. His eyes – oh heavens, his eyes, they were bloodshot and held a look that bordered on insane; a feral grin was slowly stretching across his face._

_The beginnings of fear were slowly creeping up my spine, turning my blood cold and setting my senses into overdrive._

_Kyouya let out an inhuman shriek as he lunged towards me, a large hunting knife suddenly clutched in his fist. Time seemed to stop as my mind tried to process what was happening. Kyouya was going to murder me and the truth of it was like a slap to the face. I definitely wasn't strong or agile enough to stop this…should I just let him kill me?_

_The knife had gone in so cleanly and I was so absorbed in my thoughts, that I didn't even register the pain at first. It wasn't until; he pulled the blade out and began to repeatedly stab me in the chest that the waves of agony finally started lapping up my body._

_The pain was white-hot and blinding – I felt like I was drowning. Blood was pouring out of the gashes at an alarmingly fast rate; instinct began to take over, my body moved on its own accord. Squirming, I tried to escape the torture, but as I was suffering from major blood loss, the attempt was in vain. Finally, I just decided to lay there and hope that it would be over soon._

_It felt like hours before I felt the second year move away and turn the knife on himself. He was mumbling nonsense under his breath, "Why? Light-Angels-Together….What did I just do!", Kyouya was hissing the words out at this point. _

_I watched through half-lidded eyes, as Kyouya closed his eyes and breathed deeply; without warning he plunged his hand down, and lodged the knife in his left lung._

_I closed my eyes and was giving into the bliss of the enclosing darkness, when I heard a whisper that disappeared like the wind, "I'm so sorry…"_

_If Kyouya was sorry, than maybe I could find it in me to forgive him._

* * *

><p><strong>3<strong>**rd**** Person POV**

The never-ending space was suddenly filled with the presence of another, one that was warm and familiar. I turned, although this time I felt no fear. Kyouya was standing there blinking sleepily at me as though he'd just woken from a deep sleep and couldn't quite remember where he was or how he had gotten there, moment's later understanding filled the Demon Lord's orbs and he raced in my direction.

"Kaoru, I'm so sorry-", he was cut off by the devilish twin wrapping his arms around his sempai's slender frame and hugged him tight. Breathlessly he replied, "I know you are. I missed having you with me, what took so long?"

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

****So there we go, three pages of text later. Hope you enjoyed! It's almost one o' clock in the morning so I'm heading off to bed, have a good night! :D - Darkness34

*An increase in light gives an increase in darkness*


	6. How Do I Say Goodbye

The silence that came after hosting was always so sharp when contrasted to the noise of Tamaki's over dramatic rants about how "His treacherous children were so cruel to their father and that mother didn't even care!" It was torture for the rest of the hosts to listen to his ear-splitting cries, mostly due to the fact that it resulted in their ears bleeding, because of the stupidity of it all.

Though, a certain red-head didn't mind the quiet, it gave him a chance to think and he was quite frustrated that he couldn't sort out the question that was on his mind.

"Hey Kyouya? How would you describe good-byes?" Onyx eyes turned their steady, but loving, gaze to catch a pair of honey colored ones, "Well, depending on the circumstances, the word for the divergence changes as well." "What if you were leaving, but knew you'd be back again someday? What would you say then?" Kyouya walked over and captured Kaoru in his arms "In that case you'd say 'One day I'll return to you, but for now I have to bid you farewell.' Why do you ask?" A small, secretive smile crawled onto the freshman's lips "Oh, no reason."

* * *

><p>I know it's really short and for a final chapter that's like one of the worst ways to end, but I wanted to mark this story as complete so I wouldn't feel so guilty about writing other things, while I neglected this one. And like Kyouya says "until we meet again." I hope to see you guys again someday. :D<p>

~Darkness34


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